The feature request reported here: http://www.ventismedia.com/mantis/view.php?id=8562

This might help: http://www.r1ch.net/stuff/forcebindip/

It sounds to me more like a problem of the controller that cannot find the server, but if the server is not on the same local network then UPnP SSDP search task doesn't find it. Do you say that it finds another server on the same network as MM server? I doubt.
You might want to try this: http://www.mediamonkey.com/wiki/index.php/WebHelp:Setting_UPnP/DLNA_Media_Servers/4.0
see item 5 and the text in the rectangle.

My UPNP-Controller can't find a UPNP-Server in another Subnet!
I have problems if the MM4-Server has bind to the virtual Network-Adapter with the Subnet 192.168.6.0 an my Controller is in the Network with the Subnet 192.168.178.0

Why do you need this?

Do you think the <presentationURL> tag of the device?
i.e. you can access the device under various IP addresses, for example I can access my MM server as
http://127.0.0.1:4000/DeviceDescription.xml or by
http://192.168.2.3:4000/DeviceDescription.xml
and as you can see there is
<presentationURL>http://192.168.2.3/</presentationURL>

But I haven't noticed any issue so far.

Good point. I'm going to suffer from that problem once I switch to my other machine too.

How can i bind de DLNA-Server to a specific IP-Adress if i have more than one Networkadapter in my System. If i start the MM4 as a Media-Server, the DLNA Services are always bind to my virtual Network Adapter (VM-Ware) in the wrong Subnet.

Virtual Adapter: 192.168.6.0
Lokal Network Adapter: 192.168.178.0